Father John Misty “Claims Responsibility” For Stealing Crystal From L.A. Juice Bar

Last week, Los Angeles juice bar Moon Juice posted on its Instagram that a rose quartz crystal had been stolen from its shop. The post asked that the crystal be returned, warning the thief that they “did not want the energy of a stolen crystal.” Not long after the original post, Father John Misty took to his Instagram to “claim responsibility” for the theft.

“There’s been, understandably, a not insignificant outcry regarding the alleged ‘theft’ of the rose Quartz crystal from the Echo Park Moon Juice™,” he wrote. “To claim that ‘something has been stolen’ is in [i]tself a tacit endorsement of the capitalist values that blended superfoods and locally sourced produce stands, ironically, in direct opposition to. The universe, however you may define her, brought this crystal into my life at what can only be described as a ‘pivot moment.’”

As the mystery continues to unfold, today Misty tweeted a screenshot of a fake Huffington Post story charging him for the caper with a headline that reads “Charges brought against singer/songwriter in Salt Lake crystal controversy.” He also tweeted one from People saying that he and Gwyneth Paltrow were spotted at the shop together just before the theft. Nirvana’s Krist Novoselic responded to Misty’s tweets: “You need a healing mantra or guru to help get through your trying times. #MyPrayers4You” Find the tweets and his full Instagram post below.

There’s been, understandably, a not insignificant outcry regarding the alleged “theft” of the rose Quartz crystal from the Echo Park Moon Juice™, pictured above. I am here to claim responsibility, though I do not condone the rhetoric employed in Moon Juice’s post. To claim that “something has been ‘stolen’” is in tself a tacit endorsement of the capitalist values that blended superfoods and locally sourced produce stands, ironically, in direct opposition to. The universe, however you may define her, brought this crystal into my life at what can only be described as a “pivot moment”. As my (again without trying to be didactic in my terminology) Saturn returned within the last year I found myself unsatisfied with a culture at large that insists on attributing rigid, currency based value to objects (I do not mean in a pejorative sense) that are naturally occurring and can be procured freely at any number of energy-central dispensaries located nearly anywhere within the well-defined boundaries of globalization. While I empathize with your loss I do believe that there is a larger lesson to be gleaned from this experience: namely that material goods, no matter how sacred, WILL come and go from your life. As a practicing Buddhist I can only advise you to try and remember the crystal is only random phenomena, and if it HAPPENS to find its way into my pocket, and that pocket HAPPENS to leave your store, creating some ownership/theft/possession narrative will only cause you more pain – as you will be attempting to find significance where there is none. Also your smoothies are inconsistent to say the least but largely impossible to steal so that is an injustice that I must face, and I accept with an open heart knowing that each watery gulp is an invaluable teaching moment.

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